How does that work out? Every year at about this time I start to get a little melancholy, nostalgic and even a little blue. It is not all completely winter’s fault, but the grey, dreary weather doesn’t help.
Today is Grandpa Beesley’s 106 birthday. Actually that is really a cause for celebration. He died July 11, 1996, (I think that is the right year- it may be 1997.) But, what an amazing life. He was such a great example of kindness, humility and long suffering. How I miss him today.
This coming weekend is also tough because it is the anniversary of Mom’s “graduation” from this life. I will always remember the day (Feb. 13,) Julie came home from her mission to say goodbye. On the 16th (Aunt Carol’s birthday) that I went to the hospital to say my goodbyes. But I was young and I didn’t realize deep down that it was the end. It was just something I couldn’t accept until I actually had to. Then of course, the fateful day of February 17th, which will never be the same again. It’s definitely easier now than in the years past. She has been gone 26 years now (exactly twice as long as she was with me here on earth.) I still miss her terribly, but the hole in my heart has been filled with a wonderful family of my own to love. That is the hardest part for me though, that she is not here to share in the joys, successes and trials of my family’s lives with me. Well, I actually believe she is sharing it with me, just from another place. I know she is looking out for all of us.
Also, to add to the emotions of this weekend, Sharmayne’s birthday is on Feb. 16th also. While I never knew Sharmanye in this life, I feel like I am watching her miniature twin grow up in front of my very eyes. From pictures and from what other have said, Madi is just like her aunt Sharmanye. She is spunky, sassy, dramatic and full of life--just a red-headed version of her Aunt. Madi is almost the same age as Sharmayne was when she “graduated.” I can’t even begin to imagine the hole that leaves in your heart. No one should have to outlive their child, yet many people who I know and love are a part of that illustrious club. My heart goes out to those who have lived through that pain.
I always think of Carol Moon on her birthday as well. She was like a second mom to me. She was one of the best examples of someone who embraced motherhood and wifehood to the fullest. She was truly talented at everything she did. She was patient and sincere and a great friend to me. I will always be one of her biggest fans. What an honor to be named after someone as great as Carol Moon. I have a lot to live up to.
But…. like I said, even though this is an emotionally hard time of year, I have decided to turn it around and think of all of the wonderful things I have to be grateful for. My blessings definitely outweigh my trials. Here they are:
1. The Gospel of Jesus Christ—it gives me a foundation and an eternal perspective that makes it possible to not only get through this life but to enjoy this life.
2. My Family—They are wonderful. I am so blessed to have a husband who is not only my eternal companion, but he is my best friend. There is no one in the whole world that I would rather be with. That will make eternity much nicer, don’t you think?
And if those first two weren’t blessings enough for a whole lifetime, I have been give four more!
Brooke, is too amazing for words. She is truly my example in life… who I want to be like when I grow up. She is an example of hard work, perseverance, dedication, kindness, humility and true goodness—all rolled into one. She is a great leader by example in our family. She is such a good friend to all those around her and I am lucky to be counted as one.
Taylor is a fantastic son. Every day I see kids that remind me how wonderful Taylor is. He brings humor, joy and life to our family. He continually comes up with things to make me laugh, and heaven knows a mom needs that. But deep in Taylor’s soul is someone who has empathy and love for those around him. On many times, Shawn and I have been humbled and moved to tears at his kindness and generosity and intuit. He knows when others are hurting and he wants to help them. Taylor you are incredible.
Madi is like a ray of sunshine and a breath of fresh air. She lights up any room with her wit and humor and love. She is mature beyond her years—I think of her as a mini Grandma Gloria stuffed into a little body. She is spunky and delightful in every way. She wants to do everything right and everything that is right. She follows rules to the letter of the law, but when the spirit of the law is more important, she always follows the Spirit. Madi you are inspirational.
Stevie is wonderful—Thus, his nick name-- StevieWonderful. His personality warms my heart. He still likes to be with his Mom and Dad. He likes to be with me before and after school. He likes to tell me the details of his day and he still likes to give his mom a kiss. Yeah! He has a quiet kindness about him and he wants to obey and be good. I love that he has two great sisters and an amazing big brother to look up to. Lucky him. Stevie you rock!
3. I feel more blessed and more grateful everyday that Shawn has a good job. We see what is happening around the world and especially in our own county and say, “there but for the grace of God go I.” Thank you God for the wonderful blessing of Shawn’s job. I also feel blessed to have 2 good jobs that I can fit around my most important jobs of being a wife and a mother.
4. Extended family and Friends definitely have to come next on my “Grateful List.” We are so blessed and fortunate to live by most of our family and have great friends and neighbors nearby. Aunt Marilyn often said, “the best give she could give her children was a brother or sister.” Wow her kids have a lot of gifts! But , so do we. We love our siblings and their children. They are such a positive part of our lives. We are also so blessed to have such great parents. Shawn's mom and dad are so involved in our lives. They are such a blessing to us. While we don't see Grandpa Jay and Grandma Liz too often, we love them dearly and are so grateful for them. I can’t imagine life without all of our dear family. Similarly, God place great friends nearby. I have the best business partner who happens to still be a friend after almost 6 years of working together. Jenny is such a great partner and hang-out buddy. What would I do without her?
5. This time of year, I am always a little more grateful for our warm home. I also seem to notice all the things that are wearing out or breaking down or overflowing too. But all that upkeep and cleaning just reminds me just how blessed I am to have a home to clean.
6. Now as I look outside and see the snow falling, I have to admit it is beautiful. Last weekend we spent a perfect few days at Grandpa Jay’s farm. We had so much fun we can’t wait to go back. We planned on just going up Saturday afternoon and coming home Sunday afternoon, because although, Monday is President’s Day, Shawn still had to work. But one day was better than none we decided. But then yesterday, out of the blue, Crystal Call—Flying J’s new CEO (she took over after the company declared bankruptcy the week before Christmas) said that because it was a little crazy and stressful over the holidays because of the bankruptcy, all corporate employees could have this President’s Day off . Wow- a silver lining to the bankruptcy—Presidents Day Off. Hey we will take whatever we can get and enjoy every minute of it.
So when it is all put into the right perspective and the right light, February is great.
No comments:
Post a Comment